Oola! What is it?

Oola! What is it?
Do you know that feeling when you wash up for bed, get cozy in your pajamas and curl up into bed? It's that sweet spot at the end of a long day. 
 
Well, what if every aspect of your life had moments similar to that? What if you loved your work, your finances were handled, your family life was blissful, and you had time for great friendships, amazingly good fun, radiant health, and a strong faith connection to whatever you believe, too? Wouldn’t that be a goal worth working towards diligently until you got there?
 
Years ago, I was introduced to a book and a movement, a lifestyle called “Oola” that made me really look at our modern-day culture that says we should do more, be more and buy more. Oola is different.  It's now a global phenomenon with over a million followers actively creating their best lives. 
 
Short for Ooh-la-la, Oola is that feeling you get when life just works. You’re happy, growing, and looking forward to what the world has in store for you.  

It’s the feeling you get when you’ve landed that better job, grown a bigger business, or watched your kids succeed at something they’re passionate about. It’s what you tell yourself when you’ve saved your first $1,000, or paid off the last of your debts. It’s the confidence you feel —or the sense of wonder and enchantment with your life.
 
Working through the Oola steps helped me reclaim my life after some very challenging years. So when an opportunity appeared to coach others on this proven formula, I jumped at the possibilities. 

Now I have partnered with them on an initiative to have a positive impact on 1 billion lives over the next 7 years with the Oola framework! It isn't available to the public until 7/7/2021, but I have early access to the opportunity to share an amazing tool with the world!  It's super cool to be involved this early in such an amazing mission. 

If you would like to know more...reach out and we can chat! I am so excited to connect with more heart-centered service-oriented friends to join hands on this journey. 
 
If you want to calm life’s insanity, eliminate the drama and bring more balance, less stress, and greater purpose to your life, connect with me to talk about my 12 weeks- Oola Life Balance private coaching program, where we’ll work together on your finances, fitness, family, field (career), faith, friends and fun—then set some goals to transform your life for good. 

Live differently. Get your Oola life. 



3 Little Known Ways To Engage in Self-Care Without Spending $

3 Little Known Ways To Engage in Self-Care Without Spending $
I know, I know...when you hear "self-care" you probably roll your eyes and think, "I don't have the time" and/or "I don't have the money" or some other negative thought. 

You don't need to spend money to love yourself!! 

Look, I am the first to admit that I love a mani/pedi with a friend, or hitting the day spa for a massage or facial (or both!!).  I've gone on retreats and plenty of homemade face masks or salt scrubs.  

I'm the epsom salt bath goddess (which is an inexpensive luxury) and love soaking until my fingers and toes shrivel up! 

Self care is SO much more than this.  It's getting good sleep, staying hydrated, moving your body, and nourishing your body.  It's doing the simple tasks that we need for survival. 

And yes, there are times as mamas that we struggle to do the simple tasks! 
 
Here are three more simple (but not easy!) things you can do that don't cost anything!! 

  • Say "NO" - it is a complete sentence-NO need to provide an explanation with it!
    • to people 
    • to projects
    • to anything that doesn't serve you! 
  • Set boundaries!
    • with yourself...such as limiting your work hours
    • with others-you get to choose what you receive from them
  • No people pleasing!!
    • I see you! As a recovering people pleaser, I get it! You are not responsible for other people's happiness! 
That's it...don't you feel better already!! And it didn't cost a penny!!

As I said, simple, not easy.  Takes practice and consistent implementation.  I am working on them myself! 

If you want to indulge in more self care... join us over at resilientAF midlife mamas on Facebook, home of the FREE 90 Days to Reclaim Your Life (so that you can reclaim your creativity and passion!) Click here to come hang! 



Single Biggest Reason Why Most People Don’t Understand Executive Function

Single Biggest Reason Why Most People Don’t Understand Executive Function
Single Biggest Reason Why Most People Don’t Understand Executive Function:

Google Gobbledeegoop

I hear from many parents that they’ve been told their child has executive functioning challenges, but they aren’t really clear what that really means.  

Perhaps they have had some sort of assessment done, been delivered test results, and sometimes even a diagnosis.  

Lots of information is provided at once, too much to digest and they haven’t even begun to formulate the questions. 

The term “Executive Function” is typically shared in the context of test results and sometimes the specific areas are broken down and shared as strengths or weaknesses.

More often than not parents walk away from the meetings with papers in hand, a bunch of standardized test scores, and questions they aren’t yet sure how to formulate.   

Sometimes the term has been used by an educator in a meeting, not necessarily linked to testing.  

Executive functioning is not something that requires diagnosing.  It can be impaired for a variety of reasons.  For example, under times of high stress or when depressed, temporary challenges can occur. 

Either way,  parents will typically follow up with some time on Google seeking answers.  'Cause that's where we all usually end up! 

Looking up Executive Function in cyberspace is going to bring up a bunch of scientific jargon and confusing definitions.  

Executive Function is broken down in different ways depending on who you ask.  

The bottom line…Executive Function is the ability to get shit done!  

It is the brain functioning required to execute complex tasks such as (though not limited to!): 
  • planning
  • organizing
  • time management
  • initiation
  • emotional regulation
  • focus
  • persistence
The Executive Function "umbrella" is quite large and one doesn’t necessarily struggle with all of that falls under it! 

Age and development are key factors.  For example, it is not uncommon for a two-year-old to be highly impulsive, but by the time the child is 10, we expect to see them have fewer impulsive behaviors. When that child is a teen and is still impulsive it presents a challenge as it may manifest in risk-taking that can be troublesome.

Simplified further...all of our brains engage in Executive Functions and 

Want more info on Executive Function at different ages and stage? Click Here

Join resilientAF midlife mamas on Facebook, home of the FREE 90 Days to Reclaim Your Life (so that you can reclaim your creativity and passion!) Click here to come hang! 




What are you grieving for?

What are you grieving for?
Denial :: Anger :: Bargaining :: Depression :: Acceptance

The emotions come in waves.  

I was on my way through the grief process for my grandmother. She was 99, there was anticipatory mourning for her.  Time to say “I love you” and time to visit (though sadly on Facetime instead of in person).  Time to ease into the loss.  

Then last week unexpected loss hit.  An acquaintance lost her baby at birth, An old friend of my kids, struck down by a car.  A friend to Covid.  Suddenly I was transported back to denial and anger.  

Frustrating thing about grief is that it's always there to resurface. Suddenly I was feeling deeply depressed about my grandmother and angry about the murder of my dear friend gone for over 5 years.  
My 
window of tolerance was closing! I knew I needed to pause, rest and allow myself to feel, process, and nurture. SELF CARE!!! 

While sitting quietly in a dimly lit room, essentially zoning out, it struck me that there were other areas of grief I was tapping into, 
fear and anxiety were creeping in.

I was reminded of a conference I attended years ago with Ken Moses, a psychologist that focused his work on grief in parents of children with special needs.  He taught about parents having core level dreams for their children, even before they are born.  When those dreams get shattered they must go through the grieving process, separate from those dreams and begin creating new dreams.  

Most parents experience a feeling of isolation and go through a similar grieving process as with a death, though it includes other stages such as fear, guilt, and anxiety.  

Fear. The unknown, fear of the ability to cope with their specific situation, fear about the future.

Guilt. Did they do something to cause it? Could they have done more?  Analyzing every stage of development, looking for how they could have done different/better.

Anxiety. They don’t know how to move forward, what resources do they need, do they have the stamina to do all the things?  

It's a 
cyclical grieving process. 

Emotions emerge and re-emerge throughout the life span of the child.  It’s difficult to predict the life events or developmental changes that might trigger the emotions of grief or the conflict of guilt for feeling the grief.

Do you identify with any of these? 
  • your child’s behaviors sometimes have you in tears
  • you question your ability to adequately meet their needs
  • your child rejects you
  • your home is more chaos than peace
  • you feel like your friends with “neuro-typical kids” just cannot understand
  • you feel isolated or alone
  • you sometimes think about the dream you used to have for your child
  • you think about “before” your child’s illness or diagnosis and feel sadness
You may be grieving or need to grieve. 
Grieving the losses doesn’t mean you don’t absolutely love your child!!
On the contrary you are freeing yourself up to love your child even more.

Give yourself time to feel, allow yourself to cry, find others you can connect with, and do all the
 self care.  You are the perfect parent for your child and in order to be at your best: SELF CARE :: SELF CARE :: SELF CARE!!!!

Join us at resilientAF midlife mamas on Facebook- a community of women tapping into their resilient super powers. 




Waiting for the other shoe to drop...

Waiting for the other shoe to drop...

“Ring...Ring”


Take a deep breath 


Pit of doom in my belly.  


Shoulders fold inward as my neck and back roll down into hunched over mode.  


It all happens in a matter of seconds….and feels like time is standing still.


Every cell in my body deflates, my breath is shallow, and my head pounds as I clench my jaw. 


In slow motion I turn the phone to look at the number. 


2 options: 


  • Huge sigh of relief… 

  • Panic sets further in as I answer…

I spent years waiting, day in and day out, for “the other shoe to drop.” *


*I just learned where this expression comes from!  It dates back to the late 19th and early 20th century in New York City.  In the tenement buildings the floors were so thin and you could hear your upstairs neighbor take off their shoe and drop it. Then repeat the action.  It became shorthand for waiting for something that was inevitably coming. 


Pains me to write this and recall the fear and constriction in my body even though it’s been over a year since I’ve responded to my phone ringing in this way. 


Grateful to have cultivated the resilience and mindset to shift myself from this detrimental pattern. 


For me, back then, it was the school calling or the police. Though it was really the constant state of fear I was stuck in that was the challenge.  


I was freed up by releasing the paralysis of fear, opening my window of tolerance, and accepting that stressful calls come, AND that I don’t need to be suffocated by the grip of waiting for them to arrive. 


I hear from many of you that are exhausted...caught up in this cycle of fear.  


Mama, you are the only one that can make it stop.  


You and your reaction/response are the only control you have.  


You can break the pattern. 


Reach out for a free 15 minute coaching call.  I'm here to help you. 


You can also join resilientAF midlife mamas on Facebook





 


 
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