3 transformational lessons learned from the gym...probably not what you think!

Sadly, today my gym shut down their business.

Fortunately, the owners/coaches brilliantly pivoted and went remote, which is awesome....yet the community as we knew it is over.

My heart is so freakin’ heavy.

I sheepishly walked in there January 2018 -
DESPERATE- I had spent much of 2017 using a cane and managing pain. I needed to be healthier.

The transformation I experienced was priceless.

First of all...I actually
SHOWED UP and to be honest, I walked in terrified EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

And every day I walked out to my car a

For the first time I felt physically and emotionally safe in a gym setting. All shapes and sizes were welcome and present. Modifications and scaling was available for anyone at any level of fitness.

Oh how I will miss the community!!

We had daily celebrations of achievement and badassery...support and compassion for life inside and outside the physical four walls of the gym.

2018-2020 were some of the most emotionally difficult years of my life and being present with the community and pushing myself physically supported me in ways I never could have imagined.

3 transformational lessons I learned from the gym: 

1.  It was never about my weight. People would compliment me on my weight loss and how great I looked...and honestly, it made me cringe. 

2. I would smile and share how amazing I FELT. It was always about feeling better in my body, being able to move without pain, to get on and off the floor, to climb stairs without my arms, and to live my best life.

3. I wanted to be seen for the way I was showing up for myself, for that was where the real loss was. The LOSS OF GUILT for putting myself first!

In 2019 when things in my life took some painful twists and turns I struggled to stick with my radical self care. I had pain again and became acutely aware of what a shamp I was at holding my emotions in my body.

Fortunately in the last 6 months I have learned a technique to release them….and am now getting certified in it so I can help others!

This community will always be in my heart, the coaches will always be in my head, and I will continue to move my body, to push myself past the point of my mental comfort zone, to step outside myself and find my inner warrior.


She is there and she is resilientAF!  

Check out
Project Wellness...remote training from two amazing coaches!!

and join other resilientAF midlife mamas on Facebook in our free group!! 

3.24.18 CrossFit award

What a difference a year makes!!

Last March I went to visit family in Florida. I was moving gingerly, often with a cane, required wheelchair assistance throughout the airport and struggled with consistent pain.

This March I participated in the CrossFit Open Games, after my first 3 weeks of doing CrossFit, primarily as a way to connect with the community and see what all the hype was. Last night was the 5th and last week and marked 8 weeks since I began this CrossFit adventure.

I was honored to receive an award last night (not sure exactly what it was called as I was a bit overwhelmed by the whole experience!) for my persistence and determination each week. I set small goals for myself each week because most of the required moves were things I had never done or weight amounts I had never lifted. My coach wholeheartedly believed in my ability to do more than I could fathom possible. I’m elated and still shocked that I was able to prove him right each week.

For the 8 weeks I have been training it seemed clear to me that doing anything on the bar (with my feet off the ground) was a distant goal. Last night I did 8 jumping chin over the bars. If it hadn’t been for the push of the games, it may have been months before I had the grit to attempt it. My judge coached me through each attempt, pushing me to jump higher. My first successful one brought out a loud cheer, “Tobi got one!!” that brought tears to my eyes. I looked out to see Ross smiling back at me and Coach J reminding me to keep my chin up and use my legs. I went for more. The excitement and energy in the room propelled me through. This is what the games are about.

I have loved every minute of the last 5 Friday nights...cheering on all the CFI athletes, being inspired by their performances, and observing fierce determination and dedication in each and every one of them. I’m grateful to the games for pushing all of us out of our comfort zones and drawing us together to support each other as we stretch.

**big thanks also to all my friends and family outside of the box for your support and cheering 🙏🏻❤️

Can’t wait to see what next March brings!!

PC: Bojan

3.16.18 crossfit open 18.4

Laying in bed wading through the shit that was in my tonight during CrossFit Open 18.4

21 deadlifts @ 95#
12 regulation pushups 😜only second time deadlifting-was mentally prepared to do 3 in alloted 9 minutes #dontdoubtyourself #youvegotthis 😜I had never done a real push up- been learning on 30" box

#powerofthemind #pushyourself #youcandoit#fitnessgoals2018 #fitat50 #cfistrong#crossfitofithacamotherthrusters4. #coolazul#epsomsaltbath #gratitude for amazing coaches and community! Thanks for believing in me ❤️


2.16.18 comfort zone

My intention was to take Thursday as a rest day. Then Wednesday’s shooting happened and I needed to work out on Thursday and today. The news is so unbearable. Having lost a dear friend to gun violence I knew I needed to make healthy stress relief choices to keep myself from falling apart emotionally. So, I pushed myself physically. (instead of eating marked down valentines candy!) I pushed myself this week in ways I never imagined I could. Pushing through fear is crazy scary. Just posting this picture (photo credits to Mama J) is stepping way outside my comfort zone. Taking steps every day outside the zone. Tomorrow…REST DAY!