How does fear affect our health?

How does fear affect our health?

Experiencing fear is a healthy survival mechanism that is fundamental to our in fear is unhealthy.

Our bodies hold onto that fear and has negative effects on our physically wellness (ie: crippling our immune systems, screwing with our sleep, eating disorders, muscular pain, etc.) and emotional wellness (ie: dissociation, anxiety, phobias, mood swings, obsessive compulsive disorder, etc.)

And to my midlife mamas...fear raises our cortisol levels and messes with our hormones and we certainly don’t need anything else messing with our hormones! 

Fear puts us in fight, flight freeze mode and shuts down our pre-frontal cortex which makes it difficult for us to engage in executive functioning! 

Are ya hearing all the chatter about not being able to focus, zoning out, stress eating, stress baking, drinking, scrolling endlessly on social media? 

So let’s talk straight about fear…

Zig Ziglar said FEAR had 2 meanings:  Forget Everything And Run or Face Everything And Rise

Running from our lives is an unhealthy coping mechanism. 

Believe me, I tried, years of emotionally eating my fears instead of facing them has added up! 

I now choose  to be resilientAF and rise to face my fears.  

I get it.  This shit is hard.   Facing fear head on is intense. 

Choices in life are sometimes gut wrenching.  

Parenting taught me much of what I know about fear- we as parents hold fears for our children’s safety and well being.

The fears in my head were often way worse than the realities and when we hit the deepest darkest moments and real life scary shit was happening- the fear was overpowered by love- a love so intense that fear couldn’t continue to paralyze me. 

I now fully realize  “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself”  (Franklin D. Roosevelt)

Action absorbs anxiety and fear- we free ourselves up to live more fully and present to love and gratitude.  Self care is love in action. 

Radical Self Care that I turn to when fear is present:  

  • workout -especially with the boxing gloves on!
  • take a walk, bonus points if the sun is shining
  • dance! sing!
  • gratitude journaling
  • Aroma Freedom session
  • connection with loved ones
  • Kava Stress Relief tea
  • Stress Away and Peace & Calming essential oil blends
  • nurturing whole foods
  • hugs...lots of hugs

Want to bump up your self care game? Come hang with a bunch of resilientAF midlife mamas? You are not alone! We get it!  

My Top 3 Healthy Swaps!

My husband and I were recently reminiscing about the first home we owned.  

At the time we had a toddler and a newborn and the first thing that popped into my mind was those darn latches on the cabinets and drawers.  

We had a childproofing company come in and batten down all the things in our home.   

Back then I had all the all the colors...with all the scents and even I had trouble getting past the latch and into the cabinet to get them! 

I also had recurring respiratory challenges and fibromyalgia flares...

Did you know that toxic chemicals found in conventional household cleaners can cause skin or respiratory issues and can compromise our immune systems?  

Common household cleaners can be full of carcinogens, endocrine disruptors, and neurotoxins and we spray them all over our homes where our kids and pets play on the floor, where we prepare food, and spend hours upon hours breathing in the air.  

You may not have an immediate response, but your body is bio-accumulating the toxins in your fat cells. 

The main products that I knew I needed to swap out were scented candles, fresh and clean smelling spray to clean up all the messes in my home, and fragrant personal care products for everyone in the family, particularly me!  

I have always had a fondness for shower gels, soaps and lotions - when we were dating, my now husband referred to me as the “Emollient Queen” as I had so many products in the shower/bathroom to choose from! 

It was quite a journey and I have learned, oh so many things! 

I’m grateful that I found products that didn’t need to be locked up, were safe enough for my children that they could help clean (still do!) and we get the best gift of our improved health! 

 In this brief video I share my top swaps and how I still reign as the “Emollient Queen” in my home! 


3.24.18 CrossFit award

What a difference a year makes!!

Last March I went to visit family in Florida. I was moving gingerly, often with a cane, required wheelchair assistance throughout the airport and struggled with consistent pain.

This March I participated in the CrossFit Open Games, after my first 3 weeks of doing CrossFit, primarily as a way to connect with the community and see what all the hype was. Last night was the 5th and last week and marked 8 weeks since I began this CrossFit adventure.

I was honored to receive an award last night (not sure exactly what it was called as I was a bit overwhelmed by the whole experience!) for my persistence and determination each week. I set small goals for myself each week because most of the required moves were things I had never done or weight amounts I had never lifted. My coach wholeheartedly believed in my ability to do more than I could fathom possible. I’m elated and still shocked that I was able to prove him right each week.

For the 8 weeks I have been training it seemed clear to me that doing anything on the bar (with my feet off the ground) was a distant goal. Last night I did 8 jumping chin over the bars. If it hadn’t been for the push of the games, it may have been months before I had the grit to attempt it. My judge coached me through each attempt, pushing me to jump higher. My first successful one brought out a loud cheer, “Tobi got one!!” that brought tears to my eyes. I looked out to see Ross smiling back at me and Coach J reminding me to keep my chin up and use my legs. I went for more. The excitement and energy in the room propelled me through. This is what the games are about.

I have loved every minute of the last 5 Friday nights...cheering on all the CFI athletes, being inspired by their performances, and observing fierce determination and dedication in each and every one of them. I’m grateful to the games for pushing all of us out of our comfort zones and drawing us together to support each other as we stretch.

**big thanks also to all my friends and family outside of the box for your support and cheering 🙏🏻❤️

Can’t wait to see what next March brings!!

PC: Bojan

1.29.18 add CrossFit....

Last winter, after years of high level stress and taking care of everyone else first, I hit a low point. Fibromyalgia returned with a vengeance after being dormant for 20+ years. I was dependent upon a cane to get around and I found myself depressed and frustrated with my body.

Fast forward to the present. I turned 50 in May and declared it the year of ME! I have been on a self care mission and I am winning! My body is stronger this winter (even while battling whooping cough) and I am feeling incredibly hopeful.

I’ve decided to share my journey publicly. I’m still working on the technical kinks of Instagram and Facebook, but I can still learn new tricks 😉