don't need to keep it all together!

don't need to keep it all together!

this....so much this...

 

most days this being at home has been kinda sweet and productive. since we were already homeschooling and working from home, it wasn't super disruptive. 

 

the college student is miserable to be home. misses having own apartment- i get it

 

same college student also stays up until the wee hours and surfaces in the late afternoon. appear to get food. requesting a hug when they are present...quality, not quantity. 

 

when the teen is done with schoolwork they can be found socializing online, searching outside for insects or playing with their pet snake. they appear to be in the kitchen grazing for snacks throughout the day so I at least get to lay eyes on them. 

 

the house is a fucking mess. the living room is our crossfit gym. the kitchen stays clean for 5 minutes. there are containers of unidentified shit that nobody is brave enough open. the front porch is piled with boxes. the garden still hasn’t been prepped.  the laundry room is backed up with baskets of clean laundry waiting to be folded.  the dust bunnies are infringing upon the dog's space and he is resentful. 

 

so every couple weeks i lose my shit. i flip out and delegate cleaning chores. (ok- delegate is kind) i lecture them on "everything has a place. blah blah blah" (cuz really? -we know that's what they hear!) I declare that “things need to change” and “I’m not going to tolerate this anymore” and they all sweetly let me rant, stare at me blankly, do what they were asked and then resume normalcy. 

 

mostly I find peace in my little purple office next to the kitchen, across from the bathroom (these are important logistics!) I have lovely window views of the front and side of the house and I hear the chimes on the porch in the background.  this is my safe space.  space where I cry, cuss and in lieu of throwing things I use my dammit doll (fabric doll designed to be hit on things- thanks mom-best gift) then I take a few minutes to meditate, come back to center and resume badassery.

 

how are you holding up?


resonate with you? please join our new community @ Resilient AF Midlife Mamas on Facebook!   

5.15.18 colonoscopy

Gotta be a better way! Colonoscopy prep 🤢 seriously sucks. I got my #bonebroth , #kombucha, #peppermintoil chasers to help get the job done. #colonscreening#fiftyandfabulous  really 51-put it off a year  #selfcare #youngliving#floatingaway #netflixandchill
***all clear!! don't need to go for another 10 years!!