Mama, what tools are in your toolbox?

Mama, what tools are in your toolbox?

Heart pounding, hands sweaty, jaw tension...it all kicked in whenever I would recall a specific memory of a traumatic event with my child. 


And that memory would sometimes be triggered at the most inopportune moments.  


Gaining freedom from this intense reaction changed my path.  


It was the defining moment of realizing I needed to bring this work to others and share one of the best tools I have in my toolbox.


Our memories are more than just images, they are made up of thoughts, feelings, and body (and other) sensations.  


We hold onto them for the purpose of learning and survival. Yet, we don’t need them to have a stronghold on us. 


Our sense of smell is the only inroad to the limbic system where we store our memories and we are able to tap into it with the support of essential oils and reconsolidate the way the memories are stored. 


Gently going through the steps of an Aroma Freedom  session gifted me the ability to now recall the memory without the negativity or miserable physical responses.  


It's opened up the doors for me to create new pathways for more positive perspectives and directions related to the memory.  


How could I not learn how to help others be free!? 


And support them in creating goals and intentions for their future! 


60 seconds...the most dynamic simple process can be done in 60 seconds to flip the switch on that part of your brain that sends you into “fight, flight or freeze” 


How helpful would that be for you or your teens!!? 


Mamas, we need tools in our tool boxes!  


Tools we can use on the spot and tools to help clear past messes and pave the way for future possibilities. 


Let’s chat about how I can support you.  I offer free 15 minute consults so you can ask all the questions! 


Sign up HERE to get all the info and take the opportunity to schedule time with me!


Also, join my resilientAf midlife mamas Facebook group for more mama tools and occasional free group Aroma Freedom sessions. 

Mental Health Over Academics...Understanding Why

I'm going to let the video do it's thing this week...so grab a cup of something yummy and hit play.  Then share it with someone else 💜




Simple Strategies for Impulsive Behaviors (Executive Function Series #7)

Impulsivity is a HOT TOPIC


Inhibition is the executive function skill that allows one to stop their behavior, actions, and/or thoughts at the appropriate time. Impulsivity is the lack of inhibition. 


That's all it means! So what does this look like?


  • not following directions

  • inconsistent performance on tasks 

  • touching things... other people's things.. other people 

  • restlessness or other active behaviors

  • difficulty turn-taking and waiting


Let’s talk strategy!


PAUSE!! 


Teach them to take a breath, pause, process- even just a few seconds before responding. 


Process time is so important for building this skill. 


This is for those that are raising their hands before the question has been asked, or responding before communication is completed. 


I love this traffic light graphic for teaching this concept.  


Taking the time to verbalize the questions and create a plan is incredibly powerful.


For teens, impulsivity can have significant consequences, learning this skill to apply everywhere in their lives is critical.  



VISUAL! 


Provide visual options such as a text, a note, posting on the wall, or writing on the board.  Visually processing can slow down the impulsivity.  Provide clear expectations and reminders.  


It also helps support working memory, planning and organization.  


MONITOR


As parents (and/or teachers) we don’t want to hover!  


That said, for some students it's helpful to have someone nearby. For example, with remote schooling right now, I hear many parents concerned about limited focus and attention, which leads to impulsive behaviors. 


Co-working can be highly supportive.  The student is on the computer doing their classes and the parent is in the same room on the computer doing their work.  


In a classroom students can be strategically placed in the front row and/or they may have an aide or a resource room teacher in the classroom.  


Monitoring isn’t about squashing the behaviors, it’s about redirecting the energy.


POSITIVITY!


When my kids were younger I learned about the importance of focusing on their positive behaviors. Admittedly, this has been one of my biggest struggles. This is where my impulsivity appeared...the negative behaviors always seemed to be illuminated and right in front of my face. 


When we seek, focus and acknowledge the positive behaviors we are also helping build inhibition. 



You are not alone! We get it!

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5 Tips for Staying Grounded During Crisis





I have had my fair share of experience with trauma and crisis through the years and there are several tools I have used to support me.
 
These are things you can implement for a crisis or feel overwhelmed. 


Check out the special recipe at the end!  It's one of my faves!


 

1. Make Lists


I love making lists about all sorts of things, it keeps me focused and organized...though when I'm in times of crisis I stall out and don't lean on making lists for anything!  Part of the mental shut down.  


So, when in crisis or overwhelm I make lists of things I can manage, the things I can have some control over...it makes me feel better to see it on paper and know I can DO SOMETHING. It may not be related to the crisis situation, but it is indicative of life moving forward.  


I also make lists of the things that I can't "control", that are causing me pain, stress, fear, or whatever emotion I am feeling. It's cathartic to dump the thoughts out of my head.  Sometimes I will rip up the page, toss it in the shredder or the wood stove! 

 

2. Evaluate 


I check in with myself and ask pertinent questions.  


I evaluate how I am handling the situation at hand, if I am doing all the things that I am able to that may affect change and is anything working.  


I weigh the pros and cons and assess the benefit to risk ratios. 


 

3. Choose What to Focus On 


I make a conscious choice to focus on the positive aspects.  To give energy to that which I can control and I make another list!  

I list all the ways I can show up and all the things I CAN do. 

I believe in the Law of Attraction and focusing on what I want to flow into my life. 


 

4. Breathe Deep and Move Gingerly


When things are overwhelming I take one step at a time.  I break the day down minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day...chunks of manageable time. 

I cut myself slack and let some of the less critical tasks sit on the list. 


5.  Healthy Coping Tools


Supporting emotional wellness during times of crisis is essential.  The myriad of activities that resonate with you belong on a master list that you memorize (or have in your phone!) 

Listening to music, taking walks, CrossFit, talking to friends, taking baths, using essential oils, are just a few on my list! 

Essential oils are an excellent way to cope with emotions.  Many of the oils have grounding qualities....there is even a blend of oils that carry that name!


 

DIY Grounding Diffuser Blend


The three oils in this blend are incredibly grounding so they are quite magical together! 

 

  • 3 drops Northern Lights Black Spruce

  • 3 drops Frankincense 

  • 3 drops Lavender

What are some of the ways you cope with crisis and/or overwhelm? I am always looking for fresh ideas! 

 

 Looking to kick start your self care? Join me at 90 days to a more vibrant you!