Mama, what tools are in your toolbox?

Mama, what tools are in your toolbox?

Heart pounding, hands sweaty, jaw tension...it all kicked in whenever I would recall a specific memory of a traumatic event with my child. 


And that memory would sometimes be triggered at the most inopportune moments.  


Gaining freedom from this intense reaction changed my path.  


It was the defining moment of realizing I needed to bring this work to others and share one of the best tools I have in my toolbox.


Our memories are more than just images, they are made up of thoughts, feelings, and body (and other) sensations.  


We hold onto them for the purpose of learning and survival. Yet, we don’t need them to have a stronghold on us. 


Our sense of smell is the only inroad to the limbic system where we store our memories and we are able to tap into it with the support of essential oils and reconsolidate the way the memories are stored. 


Gently going through the steps of an Aroma Freedom  session gifted me the ability to now recall the memory without the negativity or miserable physical responses.  


It's opened up the doors for me to create new pathways for more positive perspectives and directions related to the memory.  


How could I not learn how to help others be free!? 


And support them in creating goals and intentions for their future! 


60 seconds...the most dynamic simple process can be done in 60 seconds to flip the switch on that part of your brain that sends you into “fight, flight or freeze” 


How helpful would that be for you or your teens!!? 


Mamas, we need tools in our tool boxes!  


Tools we can use on the spot and tools to help clear past messes and pave the way for future possibilities. 


Let’s chat about how I can support you.  I offer free 15 minute consults so you can ask all the questions! 


Sign up HERE to get all the info and take the opportunity to schedule time with me!


Also, join my resilientAf midlife mamas Facebook group for more mama tools and occasional free group Aroma Freedom sessions. 

Keep Your Window of Resilience Wide Open...For Optimal Energy & Peace!

Keep Your Window of Resilience Wide Open...For Optimal Energy & Peace!
AHA moment!  Right there on the floor, sitting in a circle with my loving meditation group.  On a large piece of paper on the floor was a rudimentary drawing of Dan Siegel's Window of Tolerance.  I remember leaving that afternoon with a clarity I hadn't had in years! 

Visualize the window.  Seriously, close your eyes and picture a window that can open from the bottom or the top. 

I see this window as my window of resilience and it is part of the equation of how I became resilientAF in spite of some of the greatest most heartbreaking challenges.  

Check out this video explaining about the window and how I keep mine open! 





Mental Health Over Academics...Understanding Why

I'm going to let the video do it's thing this week...so grab a cup of something yummy and hit play.  Then share it with someone else 💜




Attention, Focus, Teens and School! (Executive Function Series #3)

Attention, Focus, Teens and School!  (Executive Function Series #3)

As I write this the scenario for many teens is:  

  • class on the computer from 9-3  

  • homework after classes

  • 10+ hours sitting inside on the computer

  • often in bedroom

  • multiple tabs open 

  • phones, pads, games nearby

Is it messing with their ability to FOCUS and maintain ATTENTION 

How are they managing EMOTIONALLY?  

Are they feeling ANXIOUS and/or DEPRESSED?  

Are they CHECKING OUT during classes?

What about the students previously identified with attention and focus issues in a physical classroom? 

And the students that perhaps struggle with how to advocate for themselves to ask for help, repetitions, clarifications?  

These are the teens that each day quietly sink deeper into the quicksand. The ones that will slowly FALL BETWEEN THE CRACKS.

Attention is the executive function skill that allows us to focus on the present moment, to details, to people, and for a span of time.

Limited attention skills can present as laziness, opposition, rebellion, exhaustion.  For many students, this is a legitimate struggle, they simply “can’t” attend.  It’s not that they “won’t”, they truly “can’t.

The breakdown of attention spills into other executive functioning skills such as time management, organization and emotional regulation.  All of this can wreak havoc in academic and home settings. 

Some students might have a diagnosis that is concomitant with the executive functioning struggles. Regardless of a diagnosis or not there are issues that exacerbate limited attention:


STRESS

POOR SLEEP HABITS 

LACK OF ORGANIZATION.  


Hello most teens! 

Those with IEP’s/504’s need to asses the accommodations or modifications as they may not translate to virtual learning.  Observe and communicate with your student and their teachers about what is and isn’t working. Determine where the breakdowns are and look outside the box to advocate with your student and offer suggestions.  


Teachers are doing their best


Support them while you work together to create solutions. Use your voice to request what may serve your child best. For example: 


  • If they can’t focus from 9-3, prioritize the classes that need to be done online and suggest skipping the online presence for the others 

  • Take a critical look at the assignments and determine if there is work they can be exempt from


Supporting students where they are, with what they need for mental/emotional health is essential.



And as always...take care of YOU, set the model for self care! 

Check out my resilientAF midlife mamas group in Facebook to dive into radical self care and support  

Want all of my executive function info sent directly to your inbox? Click here! 

 

 

3 transformational lessons learned from the gym...probably not what you think!

Sadly, today my gym shut down their business.


Fortunately, the owners/coaches brilliantly pivoted and went remote, which is awesome....yet the community as we knew it is over.

My heart is so freakin’ heavy.

I sheepishly walked in there January 2018 -
DESPERATE- I had spent much of 2017 using a cane and managing pain. I needed to be healthier.

The transformation I experienced was priceless.

First of all...I actually
SHOWED UP and to be honest, I walked in terrified EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

And every day I walked out to my car a
WARRIOR!

For the first time I felt physically and emotionally safe in a gym setting. All shapes and sizes were welcome and present. Modifications and scaling was available for anyone at any level of fitness.

Oh how I will miss the community!!

We had daily celebrations of achievement and badassery...support and compassion for life inside and outside the physical four walls of the gym.

2018-2020 were some of the most emotionally difficult years of my life and being present with the community and pushing myself physically supported me in ways I never could have imagined.



3 transformational lessons I learned from the gym: 

1.  It was never about my weight. People would compliment me on my weight loss and how great I looked...and honestly, it made me cringe. 


2. I would smile and share how amazing I FELT. It was always about feeling better in my body, being able to move without pain, to get on and off the floor, to climb stairs without my arms, and to live my best life.

3. I wanted to be seen for the way I was showing up for myself, for that was where the real loss was. The LOSS OF GUILT for putting myself first!

In 2019 when things in my life took some painful twists and turns I struggled to stick with my radical self care. I had pain again and became acutely aware of what a shamp I was at holding my emotions in my body.

Fortunately in the last 6 months I have learned a technique to release them….and am now getting certified in it so I can help others!

This community will always be in my heart, the coaches will always be in my head, and I will continue to move my body, to push myself past the point of my mental comfort zone, to step outside myself and find my inner warrior.

 

She is there and she is resilientAF!  

Check out
Project Wellness...remote training from two amazing coaches!!


and join other resilientAF midlife mamas on Facebook in our free group!! 




 
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